I sometimes shop at Target. Sometimes at Target I shop for clothes. The upside to this possible course of events is that I purchase relatively cheap, relatively good looking clothes for myself. The downside to this arrangement is that I semi frequently run into people who happen to be wearing the same clothes that I am, because everyone shops at Target. That’s awkward.
In order to avoid this awkward turn of events, I have taken to developing a strategy for shopping for clothes at target. I only purchase from the clearance section. This strategy presents two advantages. Firstly, it ensures that I spend as little money as possible shopping for clothes at Target. Secondly, it diminishes the possibility of the awkwardness. The way I see it, if there are 10 red plaid shirts marked down from $29.99 to $6.88 on clearance, no one bought them. I can deduce from this that either A) they are so hideously unfashionable that even the people of North Idaho won’t be seen in them, on B) they are so awesomely ahead of their time that the people of North Idaho can’t comprehend their fashion-forwardness. I tend to lean toward scenario B and assume that these value priced items are the work of fashion prognosticators that can see into the future of what New York and Paris will only begin to realize in the 2015 season. In this scenario these super-human fashionistas have forsaken the riches of this would and have dedicated their lives and abilities to bettering humankind through design….for Target. Obviously I am going to trust their sartorial prowess and purchase these clearance items and show the world how trendy I am. Obviously.
Anyway, that’s how I buy clothes at Target.